My bro is a very clever guy who’s also very much with the “in crowd” of Technology. In short he’s quite up-to-date on all the geek-stuff. Not that he uses it the same way as I do; you won’t see him having a Facebook account or even thinking about having Twitter. But he keeps me up-to-date on what’s “in” and what’s “not in”. So yesterday I was told that Twittering would be exactly my thing to do if I didn’t want to appear old-fashioned.
I’ve tried to understand what all the Twittering is about, and I have failed. My life is bordering on boring most of the time and I can’t see why people want to be informed that I’m doing the dishes at 10.30 and that I’m cleaning the house at 11.30. But it appears that millions of people would want to know exactly that, although I’m still not convinced and would probably ending up Twittering to myself.
So I’ve come up with a solution, because I too want to appear cool, up-to-date and not old fashioned. First I’ll buy a hat. This could range from a cowboy hat to a hard hat like a helmet. This needs to fit snug around my head because of the weather. After all we do get storms out here. It will also protect me against the fierce sun in Summer.
Then I put a small camera on this hat, using super glue. It will be operating on small, but powerful batteries so I can go about my business without the bother of extension cords.
This hat or helmet will be worn day and night so you all know what I’m up to. It will be life broadcast 24/7 and you can all tune in. At the back of this helmet will be a small screen where you can leave comments. Of course I’ll never look at that screen, because A: I’ll be too busy entertaining my followers with my boring activities ,B: Because it’s at the back and C: I can’t take the helmet off.
To make the life broadcast even more interesting, I’ll have some lovely features like slow-motion or speed up. You can also change the colors of whatever you’re watching and add emoticons of flying monkeys and glitter. And maybe I’ll add something that you can even have the same emotions as me.
Now you’ve read all this I know you’re wanting to sign up asap and start…..my life. But first I need a good catching name. I’ll have to make do with combining Facebook, Twitter and Skype. “Fypetwit”, Twitypebook, Skypitface and Ypetwitface all seem too tame to describe the experience I’m going to give you. Maybe I’ll call it “Flibbering” or “Swippering”. If you can come up with something more original, leave a comment on the back of my helmet.
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